Where has Miss Scarlett been hiding…

It is pathetic to think it was none other than my Dad that had to bitch slap me back to reality while I was home in March. I’ve been leading the good life no doubt, but since Will started working for Sachem, the life of this Shanghai Tai Tai has gotten a lot smoother. I barely take a taxi or the metro (subway) anymore in lieu of the “company driver” – and despite me reducing my hours, our fabby maid still makes her appearance 4x a week. It is this la la land that I was contemplating losing for a possible move to Japan later this year. Yes, Japan… home of cleaner air and even cleaner water that you can actually drink out of the faucet! We will find out in about a month or so if we get to make the move. Will of course is totally excited and I am too for that matter – but whatever shall I do without a driver or a maid (it is a lot more expensive over in Osaka).

As I’m dreaming of the potential problems of not having a nanny to help with the upcoming arrival, my father clears his throat and says, “…excuse me, your highness? You are worried how you are going to take care of yourself and the baby when you don’t have a job, maid and driver? ” I think he might have added “pah-lease” to the end of that sentence, but I don’t recall exactly because my face turned red and I began to chuckle with him on how those thoughts could have possibly come out of my mouth. Yes, I’m ready for a barrage of grief from friends and family on this. Have I become this dainty? It was not that long ago that I made fun of these women! Thank goodness I have not attended any bazaars or coffee talks recently, but only time will tell. All I know is when I got back, I worked most of last week, took the metro, the taxi and used my good ole walking shoes to hoof it the grocery store. Heck, I even helped Will make homemade corn tortillas last night – gosh I feel better. Otherwise, what will this kid think of me?

De nile is not just a river ...

The alien within seems to be growing well and prospering, but I still kind of feel in limbo wondering if I am really pregnant – its not like the heartburn and insomnia don’t clue me in. At 15 weeks I’m finally starting to have to admit to people that I do in fact have a baby bump versus just having a lot of gas – but I still can’t believe that I should be showing this early.

Well the bets are slowly coming in whether this kid is a boy or girl. I have 7 different online Chinese calendars (based on my age and month of conception) telling me that I’m having a boy. However, the heart rate is still in the low to mid- 150s – so our friends’ Patty and Jerry think it is a girl. Most of my other friends think it is a boy but my favorite so far is from one of the nurses I work with – Judy. She tells me I look beautiful and my skin is really nice. She says if I was having a boy I’d be ugly, my nose would spread and I’d have spots all over my face. Based on the other comments at work, I have no doubt if it was the other way around, they would be telling me I was fat and ugly and good for me because I was having a boy. Gotta love ‘em.

My next big adventure is the beginnings of baby shopping – well baby browsing. Don’t worry I’m not ready to buy ANYTHING, but my friend said she would take me out around Shanghai and show me what she wished she would have bought. Should be interesting since the last time I set foot in anything resembling a BabysRUS I had a panic attack – and I wasn’t even pregnant yet.

Will on the other hand has been the little researcher behind my back. I happened to mention the possibility of getting small bassinet for the time being and he said he had been reading up on bassinet versus crib... I had no idea there was such a debate. Hmmm… can we guess who is going to be more prepared? He has already leafed through 3 baby books and has zoned in on his favorite. Bless his enthusiasm.

Cravings for these last couple of weeks: turkey/bacon club sandwich, anything with spicy dijon mustard and veggi sushi roles with LOTS of wasabi (or should I say lots of wasabi with veggi sushi role).

Back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Well wow, that writer’s strike was a bitch! And then once that was over, I was called in to salvage the Oscars – although I can’t claim all of Jon Stewart’s jokes and I definitely can tell you I could not get Price Waterhouse Cooper to change out envelopes for Best Picture Winner No Country for Old Men. I guess after Fargo, the Farrelly brothers lost me.. I’m just now recovering…

Okay, okay, so that is not quite the truth. What really happened was that I was kidnapped by aliens. Or, how about…my body has been taken over by an alien being?? I think that is close enough to announcing that in fact I am indeed pregnant. For the record, when I had my discussions with God last year. I told him to bring on the pregnancy symptoms – I’ll take the worst morning sickness ever. However, I thought the soybean might cooperate and we could have a nice symbiotic relationship going, but instead this being is causing havoc on my digestive system - not up and out, but down and stuck. I have all the pregnancy symptoms that I didn’t think off and it is sure not ladylike. What is up with the excess gas in both directions?

So can you see why there were no blogs for a while? My muse was very overwhelming and all I could think or write about; however, since I’m paranoid, I wanted to wait a little while before letting everyone in on the good news. Honestly, I’m still in denial. I’ve come close to buying that onesie, but just can’t do it. However, what really freaked me out was when we arrived in Austin, Will had 6 books waiting for him that he had ordered. Fatherhood 101, Parenthood for Dummies and my personal favorite – “how not to kill the kid before your wife gets home.” Books? These are for freaky couples, I’m not reading no stinkin’ books. However, it was reassuring that my husband is not in denial - at least that makes one of us.

I’m in the US for another week and then back to China… and I’ve already gotten from folks - Oh I can tell... or... your face looks fuller ....or... you feel thicker. Thicker? People please – I know the cankles are coming, but I’m trying to ease into this slowly – like trying to fit into my pants these days.

Picture of Baby Claxton set to appear around mid-September!