Ode to the squat toilet

Although the squat toilet is not something that is new to me here in China, over the last 2 years I have learned two things: supreme bladder control and advance planning knowing my Shanghai toilet territory in attempts to avoid at all cost the dreaded squatter.

Unfortunately, pregnancy has made a mockery of my previous careful planning. Thus this past Friday I did experience a new first while living in China - using a squat toilet while pregnant.

Assumptions:
You will smell the bathroom before you see it.
There will be no toilet paper in the stalls
There will also not be a hook to hang your purse from
No germy support rails to hang on to
More difficult to successfully use than trying to go to the bathroom by yourself in a wedding dress
God must have loved men more so as to give them standing privileges as well as the inability to give birth

I mean it is difficult enough to coordinate things without having an ever growing shift to your center of gravity and so know that this was a last resort. My friend even offered assistance in this quest, but I was feeling the need to conquer this on my own - I figured I'd wait until labor to completely lose my modesty. She wished me luck as I entered the stall. After closing the door, I threw my purse straps over my neck, unzipped my purse and placed several napkins on top within easy reach while I pondered the best strategy on how to balance things with my pants down and me centered over the squatter. I cursed men again and wondered how any of them could possible have problems with aim - do they understand what women have to deal with?

Without all the graphic details, I do have to say LONG LIVE YOGA and the low squat practice I have been getting at my prenatal classes the last couple of months.

Blessed are the pregnant women for they shall inherit - whatever they want!